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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?